Stop Calling and Just Email Me, A Rant

A little background: I am simultaneously a massive fan of words and utterly loathe human interaction. People I know? Fine. A conversation I initiate, where I have a specific purpose? I’ll do it but try to get it over with. People calling me? Newp.

Why is it that any number of companies (who just *love* taking my email address so they can sell it to other parties to spam me) flat refuse to send me emails? They call or they text me telling me to call, but no-one emails.

Except my bank; they’re pretty good. They email and/or text me when something happens that I might need to know. If it requires my authorisation, they tell me – without a link – to log in to online banking and sort it there.

If. Bloody. Only. Everyone else could pull their fingers out and do that. I don’t mind having to log in online – it gets me out of phone conversations, which are typically right behind cleaning on my list of things to try and avoid. And dying, I suppose. I don’t even mind (that much) being asked to make a phone call, as long as I know why I’m subjecting myself to that particular brand of torture. What I mind is being forced to respond instantly to someone whose intentions, if not identity, are completely unknown to me until I give in. Sounds more like extortion or coercion than communication.

Let me explain. Phone calls are the devil. Or whatever I should put in place of a biblical character since I’m atheist. They send me into a panic – a physical one, with adrenaline rushing and heart rate soaring – and I would do very nearly anything to avoid having to answer one. Email, on the other hand, is beautiful: I can’t trip over my own tongue, I can reason out my response, and I can see the message in front of me so I don’t have to repeat anything. In addition to these wonderful features, it enables me to send supporting evidence if required, and even indicate mood where useful by cunning use of emoji.

So when someone – whose number is visible (yay!) but unknown to me (boo!) – calls and calls and calls, leaving umpteen voicemails, all while I’m at work and can’t deal with it anyway, hasn’t emailed me once?

Cue rant.

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