I decided a few years ago that, should I reach the grand old age of thirty with my maiden name (having been in a relationship since the age of eighteen), I would change it myself.
It was only in the last week or so that I realised I want to do that even if I somehow persuade my other half to make our relationship (going on eight years at this point) formal. He won’t be too happy to hear it, I don’t think, but it makes sense to me. May as well only change it once, after all.
I’m still on the fence about changing the spelling of my middle name. It’s a huge inconvenience that it’s spelt completely contrary to the pronunciation, but it’s also mine and I’m rather attached to it. I’ll have to make a decision when I’m looking to do the surname change, as that’s my opportunity to adjust my middle moniker (heh).
I mean, there are three ways to pronounce it (one true to its heritage, one English-speaking manglement, and the way my mother says it – guess which one I use) and no-one at all gets the spelling right on hearing it spoken aloud (whichever way you say it – it’s that awkward), but in the end that kind of fits me.
Just like my ill-fitting given name, which is fully my dad’s fault. He wanted a Scottish name for me, as he is Glaswegian, but he also wanted it to be a bit ‘different’ – perhaps he thought I would meet lots of others with the same name *snort*.
In the end, my first name is both snotty-sounding when spoken by an English person and abrupt when my nickname is used. I’m glad it’s long enough to give a nickname – all three of my blood siblings have a measly four letters apiece – but it’s also a hassle. And as with my middle name, it fits me rather well.
So I have three names; one of which I won’t change (though I’m not ruling out changing my nickname), one of which I might change, and one of which I will change (the lack of attachment to my last name is possibly a result of our patriarchal name change system and possibly a result of strong attachment to my (informally) matriarchal family). Maybe one day I’ll even add another one 🙂